Sometimes I wonder if I still struggle with insomnia as I type this at nearly 5am.
At least gay pornbots are following me now? I guess that’s improvement.
How come everyone else is getting pornbots following them and I got nothing…
I think this ranks as the weirdest fomo I’ve ever had.
You know you’re a spoonie when…
…everything you have planned in 2019 so far are all doctors appointments.
True story.
So I had to get a CT scan this morning to check on a nodule I have in my chest. Which is fine if it wasn’t the first time I’m hearing of this nodule. I guess it wasn’t dangerous but it’s still upsetting to just now learn about it. I don’t even know what nodule means and if it’s a possible precursor to something else.
So nodules can be cancerous, and apparently the doctors did a “wait and see” moment by having me get another test. I had a test a couple of years ago to get clearance for transplant which is when I’m guessing they originally saw the nodule. The good news is most nodules are benign and that is likely case for mine but they have to keep checking to make sure. Or as I like to call it “yet another thing for me to worry about” as if I wasn’t anxious enough about all my health issues.
Fuck, the scan came back abnormal. Which means they either want more test and/or compare it to the last scan I had. Either way I’ve been made inactive again on the transplant list. I’m so tired of all of this.
A friend pointed out something I hadn’t given much thought to or at least not consciously. I have a chronic disease but unlike other chronic disease mine requires a lot of maintenance in order to keep me alive. My life expectancy drops to zero within a couple of days without getting a dialysis treatment. My whole life is devoted to keeping me alive and that’s what makes enjoying life so difficult because I’m in a constant survival mode.
But this is also why I need to go easier on myself especially as I get older. My life isn’t easy and yet somehow I’m still managing to live it. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. The shock people have when they hear about my medical stuff is always a surprise to me because I live it, I have to, so I’m used to the day-to-day struggles so I don’t give it much thought. But so much of my time is given to doctors, appointments, procedures, tests, you name it. It’s a full-time job for me to keep me alive.
Just wish I could have a vacation.
So I had to get a CT scan this morning to check on a nodule I have in my chest. Which is fine if it wasn’t the first time I’m hearing of this nodule. I guess it wasn’t dangerous but it’s still upsetting to just now learn about it. I don’t even know what nodule means and if it’s a possible precursor to something else.
So nodules can be cancerous, and apparently the doctors did a “wait and see” moment by having me get another test. I had a test a couple of years ago to get clearance for transplant which is when I’m guessing they originally saw the nodule. The good news is most nodules are benign and that is likely case for mine but they have to keep checking to make sure. Or as I like to call it “yet another thing for me to worry about” as if I wasn’t anxious enough about all my health issues.
So I had to get a CT scan this morning to check on a nodule I have in my chest. Which is fine if it wasn’t the first time I’m hearing of this nodule. I guess it wasn’t dangerous but it’s still upsetting to just now learn about it. I don’t even know what nodule means and if it’s a possible precursor to something else.
“…as one of his final acts in office, Tennessee governor Bill Haslam has granted Brown full clemency. Brown will be released from prison on August 7, 2019 and live under supervised parole for ten years.”
You better believe I’m appealing this shit. It was probably flagged because it says breast.
Witch PSA
“Dark” does not mean bad.
“Light” does not mean good.
Please stop using “black” as a synonym for evil.
👆 *THIS*
If anything is evil it’s sea green. Look at this shit:
Is it green? NO
Is it a color found in the sea
NO
What even is this bs
See also: Sea Foam green
HiAhh yes Tumblr flagged my one body positive post (which contains no nudity btw). A post in which I overcame my insecurities about my scars and shared a picture of them. Tumblr also flagged a cartoon hippo(see below), a duckling, and Sailor Moon.
Well I guess the hippo is suggestive 😐
Batman: The Animated Series (1992), “Harley’s Holiday”
This is still one of my all time favorite visual gags
I have zero desire to be on FB right now, haven’t logged in for a week and not really missing it. Impromptu FB break is fine by me. It’s just a depressing landscape, I’m glad to have so many politically active friends but I just need a break from it once in a while. Which is probably why I can’t give up Tumblr, my dashboard is perfectly curated to things that I enjoy looking it and I don’t feel stressed spending copious amounts of time on this site. Which makes me glad cause this site can easily go the other direction and every so often it leaks onto my dashboard but for the most part the people I follow avoid drama as much as I do (shout out to mutuals who keep me coming back to this site).
